Now or never
by Seravy
Summary: There had always been something between them but destiny had never allowed this blurry connection to be anything more. Shamal/Signum SHOUJO AI
1. Chapter 1

**Now or Never**

**By Seravy **

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**Pairing**: Shamal/Signum SHOUJO AI warning 

**Note**: Based on the anime and the A's and StrikerS drama CDs

made a few changes based on Keroko and ghazghkull's comments. thank you both.

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Down, down, deep into the earth in the dungeons of a mighty castle, trickles of bloody light from the setting sun snuck in through a barred opening in the wall, painting three red rectangles side by side across a thin puddle of pitch black water. The scant lighting barely lit this crude chunk of space built from stones, leaving its corners obscured in blackness. The fragile reflection in the puddle was quickly distorted by a small foot plunging into its shallow canvas. 

"Knight of the Lake… what a bad joke!"

A child's voice echoed without restrain through this hollow belly of darkness, reverberating against the stone walls and mixing with the pained wails of neighbouring prisoners. Without innocence or mercy, the voice continued its rampage.

"Maybe I should just smash you into pieces right now and save the enemy the trouble of doing it later!"

A blonde woman in a halter-neck black dress stood with her head bowed, defenceless against every word that came from the short red-headed child before her.

"I'm sorry…" she said, her quiet voice thick with guilt. She was nearly beheaded today during what should have been a routine collection of linker core energy from a group of soldiers. Luckily, Graf Eisen had reached the soldier's skull before his sword reached her exposed neck.

Vita snorted ungracefully.

"Stop snivelling and just hide somewhere far away next time! Better yet, don't come at all!"

The fuse was lit, rapidly being eaten away. Apologies were meaningless to her; they were nothing but words to gain undeserving sympathy. Watching the blond take her insults silently only further irritated her already foul mood.

"You're so useless! Even your cartridges are second rate! I--"

"Apologize."

Another low female voice, calm and steady, stopped what would have been irreversible damage but it did nothing to douse the blinding hatred blazing in the eyes of the red-headed girl.

"Stay out of this, Signum!"

A tall figure emerged and shadowed the blond woman behind her.

"Apologize to Shamal, Vita."

The girl named Vita gritted her teeth. It was inevitable that Signum would interfere given how serious she took her "position" within the group but it did nothing to stoke the rebellion hissing wildly in her stomach. If there was something she hated more than incompetence, it was this meddling intruder and her need to lump them together with words like "comrades" and "team". All this self-righteousness was nothing but a ploy to force her cooperation, trapping her under "collective responsibility". Just today, by reporting their results as a collective number, this hypocrite covered for that blond idiot once again while acting like it was something done for them all.

"You can't make me. Your orders mean nothing outside of battles, oh-mighty-leader! So get off your high horse 'cause I know you're just as sick as I am of babysitting this weakling and paying for it later!"

Behind their leader, the blonde woman cringed. It had been her carelessness that had resulted in the least number of pages collected to date. Tentatively, she placed a hand on her protector, trying to inject a few irenic words. She was completely ignored, her hand shrugged off carelessly.

"I said apologize and I won't say it again," ordered Signum, her voice ringing with a power that she usually reserved for battle.

"Why should I?" growled Vita, clutching her device that hung around her neck threateningly.

"So you won't regret your words later once your head has cooled down."

The answer was frank and direct, ignoring the defiance and disrespect within that reflexive question. The grip around Graf Eisen tightened, turning Vita's knuckles into a ghostly white while the anger inside her peaked. Signum sensed her fellow knight's unyielding threat, immediately taking her own device into her right hand as the cold damp air settled heavily around them.

"Stop it, the two of you!" screamed Shamal, putting herself between the two battle-ready warriors, "This was all my fault, Vita-chan, so-so...Fight me instead!!"

"Don't think I won't," said Vita, her voice dangerously low, "Lucky for you I'm already bored."

It would be meaningless to pursue this any further, especially with Signum involved. Besides, even if she crushed them all, nothing would change except leaving herself with more work to be done. Vita trudged through the freezing water stewed in patches across their habitat, staking out a corner for herself. There wasn't much room to separate them but it was more than enough to let the rest of them know without a doubt that she was not a part of their group.

Shamal studied Signum worriedly who still stood with anger in her eyes. Thankfully, she had released Laevantine. Shamal took her chance and gently guided Signum into an opposite corner where a large wolf rested. As usual, Zafira chose silence over bothering himself with yet another one of their arguments. Wordlessly, he offered his thick coat of fur for warmth as the three of them huddled close. Even though she knew she'd be rejected as usual, Shamal wanted to ask Vita to join them but a look from their leader stopped her. She obeyed and reached into a crevice within the slimy moss covered walls where she stowed their empty cartridges. Again, Signum stopped her except this time, with a hand over hers, bringing it down back to her lap.

"Rest."

"But--"

"Rest."

Shamal hated herself for giving in so quickly but exhaustion was already lulling her to sleep while her body ached from their searing punishment. It was a pain so agonizing that the fear of it had only increased over time, especially in the hands of an impatient master.

As if sensing her thoughts, the hand around hers tightened before letting go and Shamal couldn't help but lean, just a little, to her left. The sides of their arms touched. Signum did not evade the contact and she hated herself even more. They all had suffered but she was the only one being comforted, taking advantage of someone who had dedicated herself to protecting them all. Through her leadership and unconquerable spirit, Signum had guided them through the worst, always fighting to make this a little easier.

She remembered the first time they were summoned. It was strange for even though they knew Wolkenritter's purpose, they were not a team, feigning obedience to avoid the consequences that they knew awaited defiance. Once out of sight, Vita challenged Signum's leadership while Zafira refused to act as none of them were his master though it was doubtful that such a person had ever existed at all. Herself? She didn't want to fight, acting like a scared little girl once she realized what exactly their duties entitled. In the end, for survival, Signum battled Vita for her cooperation. Through rational words, she and Zafira joined her. In time, she had gained all of their respect though it would be a fact that Vita shall never admit.

"Vita didn't mean it."

The soft whisper surprised Shamal.

"I know," she whispered back, "She's a kind child or she wouldn't have saved me."

In this never-ending and cruel cycle, all of them had learned to cope in different ways, struggling with the irony of possessing human emotions. Zafira constricted himself to baser animal instincts. Signum chose to follow the path of knighthood rigorously and emotionlessly. It was probably the hardest for Vita; underneath it all, she was just a child and the cruelty around them was raising her to feel nothing but hatred and despair. Perhaps anger was the only way to preserve that bud of kindness and hope resting within the red-headed knight. Shamal knew this to be true for if it hadn't been for Vita today, she would have 'died'.

Death may not apply to them but they still felt pain. And should any one of them be fatally injured, few masters chose to use pages from the uncompleted Book of Darkness to restore the destroyed portions of the Guardian Knight system unless absolutely necessary. Vita had seen Shamal perish many times with masters who refused to repair her. After all, support magic does not directly deliver collected pages and her time will end until the Book's next reincarnation.

"Vita-chan's right though… I'm weak…I'm not a knight like the rest of you are. "

A Belka knight is a warrior in the purest sense, raging through obstacles without fear, dedicating their bodies and minds to the art of war. She was the exact opposite of this ideal, offensively and defensively weak, indecisive and emotional. Shamal couldn't help but wish to be stronger, a real contributor instead of a liability once enemies locate her hidden position on the battlefield. Even their cartridges would be more powerful if her level of magic was higher…

"A knight is distinguished by his spirit, not his sword."

Shamal turned and studied the side profile of their leader's face, her futile thoughts immediately halted. As she had noted a long time ago, Signum's eyes were a beautiful sky blue, always brilliantly looking forward without fear or hesitation.

"There are many things that a weapon cannot do. You are not a knight only because you don't believe yourself to be one."

It took her moments before the words assembled their meaning and warmth gently wrapped itself around her heart, battling the dead coldness that was raising goosebumps from her skin. Once again, she had proven herself weak, needing someone else to sooth her doubts but still… it was nice to be reminded from time to time… to know that she was valued. Instead of being stronger, she now wished that she could take this wonderful feeling, wrap it with sunshine and morning dew, and share it with Signum. Unfortunately, sunshine was scarce in this place and morning dew albeit plentiful wasn't exactly fresh or even remotely clean. Gradually, her mind began to drift away towards silence.

"And… you have something that the rest of us don't."

Shamal didn't really understand what that meant but she was too tired to ask as sleep came to take her consciousness away. She nuzzled a little closer to the body next to hers, laying her head against a strong shoulder; she'll just pretend that it was an 'accident' the next morning as she sometimes did when this all became too much. It would be unimaginable to go through this alone.

* * *

The cryptic words that Signum spoke that night continued to whisper to her in her private thoughts but she didn't learn of its meaning until a much later time, when death became inevitable and rebirth stretched its wings once again. 

A group of men had learned of the Book of Darkness and managed to locate their master. Waterfalls of soldiers rushed in endlessly, cascading the castle with nothing but single-minded vengeful Belka warriors. Wolkenritter held out until they were battling on a field of the slaughtered.

With spears mutilating their bodies, Vita and Zafira soon disappeared into the storm of battle cries and bloodshed while their master panicked underneath her crumbling barrier. She couldn't hear what he was screaming about, not with Signum laying across her lap, a sword through her chest and heart, bathing her in blood. She was concentrating on healing the wound, her pale green magic shimmering faintly with the last bit of her energy. It was then that Signum took her hand and said:

_We try to tame our humanity while you embrace it despite the pain. _

_Thank you for always welcoming us back with a smile._

Seeing herself reflected in those brilliant blue eyes with a soul wrenching gentleness that she had never seen before, Shamal got her answer. As her barrier shattered and sharpened edges and offensive spells engulfed her body, something changed in her that day. Insignificant and powerless, the subtle transformation within her made no difference except setting aside a small portion of her heart for a jumble of hopeful and hopeless thoughts. Many times, she found the words on the tip of her tongue only to be swallowed back down into the pit of her stomach. She wanted to tell Signum that she only smiled because it was all she could do, that she only did it so she wouldn't become the tool that their masters saw them to be... and because, even though fate was cruel to them, they all mean a lot to her...especially _her_. Her only wish was that she would at least have a chance to tell Signum how she felt the day they find eternal peace.

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END 

To me, Shamal and Signum always had this… married-couple-for-a-long-time feel to them so I thought I'd give them a try. And in case you were wondering about Vita's character... it was mostly based on the A's Drama CDs and she wasn't exactly very friendly and nice in those flashback tracks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Now or Never II**

**By: Seravy **

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** Note: **Edited version with some new additions **  
**

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Without disturbing the empty peace upon the streets, the Wolkenritter Knights slipped through a window on the first floor and into the lifeless living room. It had been a fruitful night, yielded from diligence and the luck of encountering several creatures with relatively pure linker cores. 

Vita promptly tore off her clothes, changed back into her pyjamas and stealthily slipped away to where she was supposed to be with her bundle of laundry under her arms. Zafira curled up on his usual spot on the hardwood floor, resting his head upon his folded paws. They were all more than eager for those few precious hours of rest within the secure arms of 'home'. The only exception was Wolkenritter's leader, who was scouting the kitchen for a bottle of water.

_/Aren't you coming to bed?/ _

Shamal conveyed her question through their telepathic link to avoid breaking their cover of the silence.

_/Later/_ returned Signum. As she had explained before, the adrenaline from the night's battles would take some time before it would dissipate. It was an excuse and they both knew it.

Fully aware that she would find their leader on the living room couch tomorrow morning, Shamal bid her good night and made her way upstairs to what was supposed to be their shared room.

Signum listened for the light footfalls to disappear before giving up her false search and took a seat on the couch nearby the large wolf. A pointed ear of the guardian beast twitched but as usual, whenever she joined him at night, Zafira offered no comments.

She was certain that Shamal understood for the blond woman had stopped asking for explanations after the first two nights since they have decided to complete the Book of Darkness. The first night Signum had claimed that she had fallen asleep on the couch. The second, it was because she didn't want to disturb Shamal whenever she came in late. However, if this was the right decision why was her heart being shackled with doubt while temptation still possessed its allure?

She reached to remove the yellow ribbon that held her hair up but instead, she found herself gingerly tracing her fingers along the braids that ran on either side. It was a bittersweet gift that served as both a seal and a reminder of the past, conjuring comfort and turmoil through its presence. Only specific fragments survived the jumble of chronology but those pieces were memories that she shall never forget.

* * *

Dawn lazily stretched its rays across the earth. A field of tents spanned across acres but aside from a few soldiers on the lookout, everyone was still asleep. Some distance away, unnoticed and hidden from this gathering, was a small camp of four. Wolkenritter was stationed here as their master had ordered and they will be joining her side once the army began to move again. 

After scanning their perimeter, Signum took a seat on the cold ground, Laevantine's materialized form leaning against her. Though her eyes were closed, she was fully alert, her senses vigilant for any intruders.

A soft rustling of leaves broke her concentration but she already knew who it was.

/Morning/ came the unnecessary telepathic message.

Signum responded with silence but her blatant refusal at conversation seemed to have failed for the distinct feeling of being watched kept nudging her senses. Even as Shamal approached and stole a spot beside her, that amethyst gaze never stopped touching her. For a while, the blond woman seemed content with just sitting there until her physical voice disturbed the stillness around them once again.

"Your hair is so long and nice, Signum..." whispered Shamal. She always felt that words through one's vocal chords were so much more sincere and human than those transferred through their telepathic link. "It's a shame that you don't take much care of it though."

Signum was surprised by the utter randomness and foolishness of that statement. They were in the middle of a war. How could one possibly even consider vanity in this situation was beyond her.

"Say... could I comb your hair?"

Signum's eyes snapped open and for the first time, acknowledged the woman beside her with hidden bewilderment. Something in that invitation had sparked her defence. Shamal was an emotionally sensitive person. Though troublesome, it would be unwise to upset her mindset so close to battle, especially when factoring in Vita's hail of verbal insults yesterday night.

"Please?" pleaded Shamal as Signum tittered with indecision. In her hand was the metal comb that she found in a ransacked village the other day.

Wolkenritter's leader wanted to say 'no' but as she tracked those imploring eyes, she noticed the admiration within them and the flitting glances to her hair.

In ancient Belka, knights wore their hair long as a symbol of their years on the battlefield. Upon death, it would be cut by comrades and taken back to the fallen's family for burial. It was also a way to shame the weak; those who did not wield a weapon were forbidden to grow their hair past their shoulders. Of course, the royal family and others with considerable wealth and influence were exempted. Aside from a sense of injustice for the mistreatment of the 'weak', Signum worshipped this ideology.

However, the look in Shamal's eyes told her that this was something much simpler. Taking note of the cropped length of those thick locks of blond, Signum deduced it to be female vanity. Shamal was weak but it was not her choice to have her hair short or to be incompetent. Besides, she tried harder than anybody else. Shouldn't that count for something?

"Ah," said Signum, finally giving her curt reluctant consent. She despised the emotion of pity that had overcome her in that moment. However, by allowing her hair to be dallied with, perhaps she had prevented Shamal from making a similar request to Vita; the red-headed knight had a foul temper in the morning. If they were to clash, Signum couldn't guarantee that she had the patience to negotiate without force after a sleepless night.

With a large grin on her face, the blond woman immediately undid the crude knot that held her hair up and began to disentangle her neglected tresses, leisurely working her way up from the tips. Grooming being the last on her list of priorities had resulted in more than a few stubborn kinks. Quite often, Shamal had to apologize for her necessary use of brute force. Little annoying pinches upon her scalp tested her bearing but as time flowed by, the nips of pain became less infrequent. Eventually, the comb sailed through her stresses with each stroke. It felt nice to have her hair down and unrestricted and so Signum decided to indulge this sudden whim just a little longer. It wasn't until Shamal declared the task's completion that she realized that she had dozed off.

She could tell that her hair was back to its original arrangement though something felt a little different. Reaching up to identify the oddity, her fingers touched the crisscross patterns of braids along the sides of her head; the two strands of hair that framed her face had been weaved into the longer ones then gathered into her usual hairstyle. They had been allowed to hang free so far as they were not long enough to be tucked into her high ponytail. Though she disapproved of the butterfly knot, Signum could already sense the practicality of this hairstyle. For one thing, hair would cease to whip around on either side of her face during battles.

It was a slight inconvenience that she had never noticed until this woman, who she barely knew and only pitied, brought this insignificant and personal detail to her attention and changed it. Considering their circumstances, she had been angry, stunned and confused as to why this woman would concern herself with such trivialities. At the same time, this wasn't about female vanity as Signum had presumed, but something done particularly for her out of kindness without asking anything in return.

Signum began to observe this odd blond a little more closely and she found herself slowly being eaten away by guilt. She saw the precious emotional support that none of them valued, the unappreciated tasks that Shamal all took in stride and the smile that never complained. Counting these little things individually, they were indeed invisible and meaningless but put them together, it made her realize how similar they were; they both just wanted to make the cruelty around them a little less harsh.

All this time, her ego had led her to believe that she was alone in her role as leader. Like a true Belkan knight, she was obsessed with strength in the most limited terms, devaluing ways that differed from her own. Whenever Vita verbally attacked Shamal from the same prejudice, her words of defence had always been insincere, spoken only to maintain morale and unity.

It was difficult but she began to alter their tactics to maximize the true potential of Shamal's magic. In turn, they came back with fewer injuries and were able to preserve their strength a lot more effectively. She even tried offering a few more words whenever Shamal struck up a conversation. The hardest was perhaps learning to say "Thank you". When a good leader criticizes, it should be done in a constructive manner. Furthermore, she also recognizes contributions. Signum had always believed that action was the most effective form of communication but there was simply nothing else she could do to appreciate the little things that Shamal did. And during a moment when they were alone, Shamal had thanked her for thanking her.

"_Thank you, Signum… for noticing," she said, "I care about you all and even though there aren't many things that I could do, I'll try my best just like you always try your best to protect us."_

The innocence within those amethyst eyes made her heart beat faster in a way she had never felt before. Her role as leader had always just been a necessary obligation for survival. But through Shamal's words, she learned to embrace her role as something beyond mere programming, because she realized, that she too cared for every one of them.

Though their relationship remained the same on the surface, what laid underneath was no longer recognizable. Signum was aware that the blond woman was entering her heart little by little but those steps had been so miniscule that she never realized how much it all weighed collectively until the fates demanded yet another sacrifice upon their alters.

They were ambushed one night and were completely outnumbered. Patrolling enemies nearby sought their hidden location in a cave among the mountains. Like dying fishes on a cutting board, it would only be a matter of time before Wolkenritter had to face them with their exhausted cartridge supply and grave injuries. Long distance transference magic was their only hope to safety but it would be impossible to complete the spell without enemy detection and subsequent annihilation. The most logical solution was for one of them to provide cover while the rest of them escaped. Death would be imminent for the one who remained.

Signum had decided to undertake that task until Shamal, without her orders, began to summon her magic. Wolkenritter's leader immediately reprimanded her subordinate but she was ignored as their wounds healed and a small part of their depleted magic was restored under a gentle curative spell. The soft shimmer of emerald light continued to flow through the cave and realization left her numb with shock.

In an unusually strong and fearless voice, Shamal demanded them all to stay within the spell circle just as a blast of energy hit into Klarer Wind's shields. Signum knew that command was directed at her particularly. Two more hits found its mark and broke through the barrier for a direct hit but still, the energy around them progressed without delay.

A barrage of irrationality clashing with logic froze her limbs and Signum could only watch shell-shocked, helpless and confused as a spear in motion drew its warpath along Shamal's fragile body. Blood blossomed like wings behind the Lake Knight; this image continues to frighten her to this day.

They were teleported to safety, somewhere near their master's lodgings but she did not feel an ounce of relief. Shamal was dead, Signum could sense it through the gross gap within their severed link, the connection that bonded the four of them to each other and their master. Never had she ever felt such pain in her chest, draining her life from within like a parasite that lived to torture.

It was then that she understood that she cared.

Too much.

Shamal's sacrifice was the most effective course of action and yet her thoughts that day had revolved around avoiding that consequence. She had failed as a leader, committing the most amateur mistake as well as betraying her comrades' expectations of fairness. When a leader fails, those under her suffer. These feelings do nothing but take away her objectivity and yield more pain. She knew that the more she excessively cared for Shamal, the more she'd only end up hurting her. This agony was the rightful punishment for her carelessness.

It had to end, right then and there.

Plunging Laevantine into the hard cold ground, Signum made a decision. Though the parasite had already rooted itself too deeply inside of her, it could not stop her from destroying the visible vines that had wound around her heart. No promise had ever been made between them and as long as it remained that way--as long as the parasite remained nameless-- there would be no expectations and therefore, no disappointment. All that was left were the braids in her hair and the butterfly knot that held it together; a token to tie and seal off what could never be but shall always be cherished until eternity.

That night, before their master, she hadn't asked for Shamal's restoration, merely reporting the necessity of this outcome.

* * *

The light tinkering of pots and pans slowly roused her from sleep. Blankets that were absent last night were draped around both her and Zafira. Their master was awake, making breakfast as usual as one by one, the rest of the family made their way to the living room. 

It was a wonderful feeling to have everyone gathered around a table, sharing something as simple as a meal. They now fought voluntarily for unlike the past, too much was at stake, including hope itself. She could not allow herself to be distracted by anything.

But once this was all over, perhaps...

* * *

**Now or Never II End **

You know how certain pairings get short forms? Like ShizNat, or NanoFate? Behold… SIGMAL! (sorry, on a sugar high)

Couldn't help but notice Signum seems to rest on the couch when there are clearly TWO beds in Shamal's room (see ep 4). Some trouble in married-paradise? But Shamal doesn't seem like the "couch-punishment" type. Anyways, this had become a trilogy and the next chapter, Shamal and Signum will confess and get together. I like happy endings.

The end scene was from A's ep 4.


	3. Chapter 3

**Now or Never III**

**By: Seravy**

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**Note**: Takes place between A's episode 8 and 9 

edited version from Akuma-sama and KoSSa's (AS forums) suggestions

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From the small cardboard box, Shamal picked out a cartridge, enclosed it within her palm then closed her eyes. Through her will, magic billowed from within before being methodically compacted into the small container. Prepping cartridges is a time-consuming and tedious task that exhausts a considerable amount of magic. Making her primarily responsible of this necessity allows their team's main offensive members to preserve their strength for the gruelling battles that await them every night. It was the least and the most she could do being the offensively weakest of them four. 

A long time ago, stretching into the distant faded parts of her memory, she would have felt ashamed for being unable to do more but someone with just a few of her scarce words told her that what she did, mattered. Even though she still did not consider herself a Belka knight, she was most definitely a Cloud Rider.

That person was now standing before her, watching her. Shamal's concentration wavered underneath that intense scrutiny that held more than just guilt for allowing her to handle this task alone. Their leader usually remained downstairs in the living room; Signum must have seen the light from her bedside lamp sneaking out from underneath her closed door when she came back.

"It's late. Rest."

Shamal stopped her magic and greeted the tall woman with a smile.

"I'm not tired yet. Mind if I stayed up with you for a little while?"

Signum bit down a rejection, trapped by her own excuses of battle adrenaline and restlessness. All she could do was cautiously accept while maintaining a safe distance away from where she stood.

Shamal could sense their leader's reluctance but it did not lessen the resolve that had suddenly enslaved her to sabotage the precarious space between them tonight. The little wish made upon the day Hayate became their master was wilting alongside their master's life. She didn't know what she was doing except that she needed to hurry before hope completely disappeared. Now, they were alone without the buffers of others or distractions, a scenario they've tried so hard to avoid since the day they found out about their master's worsening condition. They were both waiting for her to speak. The pressure was nauseating.

"I can't stop thinking about what Vita-chan said this morning…"

A deep frown furrowed into Signum's brow at the direction of this conversation. Taking a deep breath and ignoring their leader's silent but blatant disapproval, Shamal forged on.

"We've completed the Book of Darkness before on a few occasions. But no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to remember what happens every time it was completed. The master of the Book of Darkness is supposed to attain great power… And yet we are summoned again and again with new masters. Vita-chan is right… I have a bad feeling about this… what if--"

"Shamal!" interrupted Signum sternly, "It's meaningless to doubt for it does not change what we have set out to accomplish."

"I know! But just because we don't say it doesn't make the possibility any less real!"

The forcefulness in Shamal's counter doused the anger and indignity that blazed inside Signum, leaving it to flicker weakly from doubt.

"Mistress Hayate is different… whatever happens will be different too," the Flaming General reasoned weakly.

Shamal bit her lip in frustration. Everything that Signum had just said, they already knew. What she wanted was not repeated information.

"What about us?" she challenged.

Cloaked by the dimness around them, the blonde woman suddenly looked smaller than usual, shadows veiling a sad loneliness around her. A brief pinch of pain choked Signum's answer but she ignored it and quickly forced her words out.

"There is no guarantee that we would remain but there is a chance. We all know that. What's important is that our master lives."

"You know what I meant."

Once again, she had deliberately destroyed Signum's attempt to preserve the present. With the ultimatum issued, there was no turning back. The incomplete cartridge in her hand felt hot from absorbing her flood of heated worriment as that simple little wish was quickly blossoming out of control. With her eyes squeezed closed, she could already picture the leader of Wolkenritter walking away because what she was asking for were not future promises but something for the present. Finally, Signum's alto voice spilled into the air.

"After this is over…"

Shamal's eyes reflexively snapped open, needing to match the rest of that broken sentence with whatever expression that came with it. However, Signum denied her that image, facing her with her back. Disappointment quickly filled Shamal's heart but it did nothing to quench the eager nervousness that abated her breathing.

"When this is over…" repeated Signum, "When this is over…"

The Flaming General suddenly found herself pitifully incapable of reigning over the tension that surrounded them, even on her third attempt. For too long, understanding had been given freely without having to ever ask for it. A part of her expected Shamal to be satisfied with that broken half-hearted answer while the other side mocked her cowardice, tempting her with her usual legion of excuses. It would be so easy to blame the responsibility upon their shoulders and leave. Shamal would understand, right?

"And what if it won't be over…"

However, she was wrong and like the time she was forced to confront her feelings before Shamal's bloody sacrifice, she was helpless. With ungraceful shame, Signum began to retreat from a battle she knew she could never win.

A crisp deciding sound echoed through the spaciousness of their shared room, reverberating twice before the discarded cartridge rolled to stillness on the hardwood floor. Signum suddenly found herself incapable of taking another step as arms entrapped her waist with all their might as if trying to suffocate her. She shivered against the curves pressed tightly against her back, unexplored pleasure creeping to devour her whole. If only she didn't feel so guilty.

"Shamal…"

Signum had tried to inject disapproval into her voice but the result was only a weak tired sigh.

"Listen, please! I know it's selfish of me to do this while Hayate-chan is suffering! And I know we should be concentrating on completing the Book of Darkness but there might not be another chance! I need to tell you while there is still hope!"

Never had Signum heard such desperation in that soft kind voice. All thoughts about wrenching away from this embrace quickly drained away especially when she felt a pointed hotness wetting her back; Shamal was crying. And through her tears and thickened voice, words as clear as pure water brought to life what had been buried for too long in both their hearts.

"I love you."

A sudden pressure crushed into Signum's chest, halting her breathing at the base of her throat. Her mouth slacked open, feeling the obligation to respond but the shock muted her as Shamal continued.

"Your strength, your gentleness, your pride, your flaws… I love everything about you. Even when we were surrounded by nothing but bloodshed and endless battles, just being by your side made me feel safe."

The large lump in her throat was painful but she swallowed hard and drew strength from the fact that the person she loved was right here in her arms.

"I never thought I'd have the chance to tell you but ever since Hayate-chan became our master, it didn't seem like something impossible anymore because all of a sudden, our own feelings and happiness mattered. It wasn't important that we weren't humans because Hayate-chan saw us as individuals, her family. And during these last six months, as I got to see other sides of you, these feelings inside me grew. I kept waiting for the perfect moment to tell you… but somehow, it was just easier that I didn't so I just kept… waiting…But now… If something were to happen to Hayate-chan, everything would go back to the way it was… except you would forever be ridden with guilt--we would all be-- and these words would become meaningless."

Aside from the occasional muffled sob, the dead silence of the night prevailed. As Shamal had exposed her soul to the possibility of hurt, soundless tears had streaked endlessly down Signum's face, lingering on her chin until they fell and were absorbed into the fabric of her sweater. The embrace around her was comforting yet coaxing more tears from her burning eyes.

"You don't have to answer me…I just wanted to you to know. Even if we fail and things become more painful because of it, I won't regret this. I'm happy to have had the chance to tell you at least once... I love you… always will."

It was impossible to breath. Signum could tell that a strong beautiful smile had accompanied that declaration. The arms around her waist squeezed her tightly once more before slowly pulling away, fingers lingering over her abdomen. The fact that it could be the last shattered the last remaining fragment of her artificial calm.

With one pivoting step, Signum almost violently pulled the smaller woman into her arms. The fearful void she had felt the moment that warm body began to lift away from her own quickly disappeared. In its place was an exploding torrent of fulfillment. As she took in the sweet fragrance of roses from the bodywash they had chosen together last week, fresh tears welled up in her tired eyes.

Signum never knew emotions could be so painful, especially for a hardened warrior who had witnessed the pinnacle of cruelty and destruction through centuries of human stupidity. And yet, before a single woman, she was openly crying as she learned what it was like to have her heart tortured by mere words. Without even expecting an answer, Shamal had offered her love courageously and unconditionally. Small steady strokes along her back sought to comfort her though she wasn't even the one being hurt so barbarically by another's silent denial.

"I love you too."

It was nothing more than a soft whisper but Shamal had heard it clearly as those warm breathy words tickled her right ear. She knew how difficult it was for Signum to say a phrase that did not hold the same power as actions. Gratitude, but most of all, a rush of uncontrollable joy, overwhelmed her and she held on tighter.

However, how was it that an embrace could bring someone so close together yet make one feel so far away from the other? Shamal wanted to see those brilliant sharp eyes, high cheekbones and thin lips... to see Signum more clearly. Lifting her head from the tall woman's strong shoulder, Shamal titled her gaze. She revelled in how their cheeks brushed against one another.

Perhaps the same intention had sprung up in both their minds for in that small movement. the blonde woman suddenly found her lips just a breath away from Signum's. Only one thought remained as she closed her eyes and leaned in, just a little. She was certain that they had acted at the same time because there was no hesitation or surprise when their lips touched. Their first kiss was ambrosial; with just their lips chastely overlapping, it took away the uncertainties and hopelessness that had clung to them for as long as they could remember.

Soon, they broke away, gazing into a new understanding reflected in each other's eyes, one that was no longer nameless. Shamal reached up and pulled on one end of the yellow ribbon, something she hadn't done again since the first time she had touched Signum's hair. Long silky tresses cascaded down and tickled the back of her hand like snow. She liked how the front locks were wavy from the braiding; it gave the proud knight an extra hint of femininity.

However, as much as she enjoyed this discovery, it would be dawn soon. Shamal slid opened the mahogany drawer that stood between the two beds and took out a change of clothing. Signum took the offered sleepwear and changed into the oversized dress shirt and pyjama pants. When she was done, her companion was already underneath the covers on the bed nearest to the window with a clear space by her side.

Unknownst to herself, Signum had smiled before flicking the switch on the bedside lamp. She slid in beside Shamal and was immediately welcomed by a soft warm body leaning into hers. With her vision adjusting to the darkness, she could make out the contours of a contented smile, the most beautiful one that she had ever seen before.

Somehow, she had always imagined that admitting their feelings would lead to something unimaginably uncontrollable with nothing but pain, like an insane beast let loose. This would have undoubtedly been true in the past but their current master made this peaceful calm possible. They were now more united than ever in their mission to save that kind innocent girl who deserved happiness more than anybody else in this world. No one could stop them.

Impulsively Signum planted a kiss on Shamal's forehead before pulling her closer, intent on fully indulging in this little bit of selfish happiness they were allowing themselves tonight. In this world, there is no such thing as the perfect moment; only one's resolve to take the present for themselves and make it their own.

And though they did not share a bed again the next day, the abandoned one beside Shamal's would no longer be empty.

* * *

**Now or Never Trilogy END **

SIGMAL!!!!!! Makes me wonder if I could get away with labelling things as Sigmal from now on…

(from G) SigSha/ShaSig -- kindda hard to say/pronounce (especially ShaSig. Try saying that three times in a row and you'll know what I mean)

(from Akuma-sama) Shagnum LMAO! sounds like a big overcompensating gun that Austin Powers would use

(thebestnameonthesite) thanks for the blond(e) correction. I made sure there were no more 'blond's in this chapter.

So Sigmal it is. Anyways, thanks for reading this trilogy. Hope the ending was satisfying and that people would start to write Sigmal (or at least more fics to do with Wolkenritter and Hayate). They're my fave in this series and there just isn't enough out there on them. There will be a separate comedy-like epilogue to this.


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